Social Penetration Theory

          It is no secret that online dating has been a major success for some people, while others either write it off, or continue to develop shallow meaningless relationships that eventually come to an end. The social penetration theory states that as relationships develop, interpersonal communication moves from shallow information, and small talk, to deeper more intimate conversations. This is not surprising, however I do think that it is important to point out that whether or not these deep, more intimate conversations are possible online are dependent on individuals, and characteristics of their personalities.

          For some, most people actually, it is easier to open up on the Internet and explain intimate details of their life through CMC than it is face to face. Some of the advantages to sharing this information through the Internet is that there is less judgment and people tend to be more comfortable. Although for some, it is harder to share information through the Internet. I would include myself in this group; it is hard to trust someone that you haven’t met in person. Although CMC is used after relationships have started and face-to-face communication has been established, I do not think that the relationship is destined for success if intimate details cannot be talked about in person. 

The “Onion Model” is perhaps the best analogy for the social penetration theory. The “Onion Model” explains that people are like onions, the outer layers of the onion are the public self, and as layers peal back, the more intimately you get to know the person. How quickly the inner layers of the person, or onion begin to show depends on the person, how comfortable they are revealing intimate information, and the amount of time it takes for them to open up. Some people tend to open up in what I believe a ridiculously fast amount of time. While other people tend to reveal information about themselves much more slowly.

The two aspects of the onion model are Breadth, and Depth. Breadth refers to the range of things that make up someone’s world; some examples of these are past relationships, academics, and their family.. The other aspect of the onion model is depth, is the degree of intimacy, which is how comfortable someone feels, how open they feel they can be with the other person. It is common that people have a different degree of depth with different aspects of their life. One may not want to talk at all about their relationship history, but explains every intimate detail about their family.

I think that it is very interesting that aspects of relationships from long ago, to online relationships that occur now can have so much in common. Of course some alterations, but very similar in some ways. I think that the success of online dating is dependent on the personality traits of individuals. Some people are more comfortable shedding their layers of the onion on the internet, while others who, might even be seen are old fashioned now are more comfortable sharing intimate information face to face. Social Penetration Theory will be around forever, and it will be interesting to see how future technologies, and changes in human communication can effect social penetration.