Identity is the “conception and expression of
self,” according to our lecture presentations. This means that it is how we
perceive and present ourselves as individuals in society. And because so much
work went into finalizing it, it is plausible for someone to want to be seen
and understood in the manner that they expect. It is for this reason why people
normally put themselves in situations and around people that complement them.
For example, I consider myself to be an introvert. I occasionally enjoy the
company of a small group of friends. Within a group, I usually get lost in the
chaos of conversation until I eventually slip away. It is for this reason why I
prefer conversing with one or two people. I also enjoy being in the company of
a lot of strangers (at parties). The crowd gets overwhelming after a while and
then I have to leave. For me, the most satisfaction comes from enjoying my own
company when all the socializing is over.
I have two best friends. For the most part, we
are very much alike. They are my friends because over the years I feel like they’ve
grown to understand me. They are aware of the aforementioned description and
choose environments that would fit. I feel good knowing that I have people in
my life who understand me and can promote my well-being.
I find it interesting, Erving Goffman’s view of
personality portrayal by people as a performance. He makes a good point and I
agree with him. But I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. People
really do present to the world what they want to be seen. Sometimes, however,
there are certain aspects of identity that are hard to hide, like behavior,
gender, ethnic group, etc. These are known to everyone and are almost
impossible to hide unless a fake identity is being used.
I was watching Bring It On: In It to Win It a
while back. There was a black girl on one of the rivaling teams and she was
putting up this front as being someone from the “hood”, talking hard with
“hood” slang, and being very aggressive and confrontational. In reality, she
was the complete opposite. She was from a suburban area, she spoke differently
(properly), and she wasn’t as aggressive. There was another guy in the movie
that everyone assumed was gay. They told him things they wouldn’t normally tell
a straight person and they undressed in front of him. In reality, he was
straight and played along because he got to see female body parts all the time.
For me, what you see is what truly is. This is especially true if we are very
well acquainted.
There are certain parts of
the self that are not appropriate to expose, given a specific situation. There
are other parts that I choose specifically or subconsciously not to reveal
because I like to keep some things to myself. I wouldn’t be a big deal if
people happened upon them but there is something special and sacred about
having things that belong to you. I feel very comfortable being “behind the
curtain”. Like Goffman said, it is where we are truly ourselves, free from
influence and judgment from everyone else. Besides, no one knows you as much as
you know yourself.
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