Friends… How many of us have
them? Friends… Ones we can depend on… I imagine that most (or all) of us are
familiar with these beginning lyrics of the song “Friends” by Whodini. Friendship is an interpersonal
relationship between people in which both parties benefit from the
relationship. We all, I hope, are fortunate enough to be blessed with good
friendship relationships. They are a very important part of our lives, providing
us companionship, support, security, and a place to vent. They have certain
traits that attracted them to you in the beginning. There are some people in my
life that I would consider to be really good friends and some that are
questionable. You call them friends for lack of a better term and to avoid any
confusion or they show you certain parts of themselves that make you think
twice.
I have two best friends that
I met in middle school when I was living in Florida. Now I’m here now and they
still live there. Fortunately we are still friends and this is in large part
because of technology and the bond that was formed before I left. As I
mentioned before friends serve many different purposes. You can talk to them
about a lot of things, get advice and support for your, sometimes, stupid
decisions and ideas, vent to them when your family members are being pains in
the ass, or bitch to them about your new friends that piss you off. I serve the
same purpose to them as well. This is the reciprocity (ideal) friendship. I
think this is one of the reasons why we are still friends. I get a sense of
understanding from them.
Another branch of friendship
that sparked my interest during lecture was the talk about friends with
benefits and about the percentage of people who thought it was possible or not.
Friends with benefits is when people
have certain advantages or benefits of a relationship without actually having
the commitment aspect of a relationship. I am a part of the 67% who have not
been in friends with benefit relationships and who think it is a bad idea for
people to partake in this. I know people who have been involved in this type of
relationship and they have all ended badly. Someone either develop feelings and wanted to
take things further while the other person wanted things to stay the same or
someone found a mate and ended the relationship, leaving the other partner
alone. I guess this is one of the reasons why I have this viewpoint. I think I
would be the one to gain feelings and then not have those feelings
reciprocated. I am always trying to protect myself so I will avoid certain situations,
this being one of them. Another reason why I don’t think it is a good idea is
because I think people should be having sex with people who they are in
relationships with. Why is it so easy for people to have sex with anyone these
days? Hooking up with a friend or stranger and having one-night-stands seems to
be very common these days. I don’t think trying to satisfy your needs is a good
reason to risk a friendship over. I value my friendships a lot and there are
certain boundaries that do not get crossed. Not to mention risks of getting an
STD. I know there is a possibility of getting disease in labeled relationships
but in F.W.B. there is no obligation to be exclusive or guilt faced by either
person when one is also having relations with other people. The chance of
becoming infected is much higher.
In closing, if you want
aspects of a relationship, just obtain a relationship and stop being a punk!
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