Lying and Trust

Lying is a part of almost every relationship whether it be a friendship, or a romantic relationship. Sometimes lies can be simple things that happen on an every day basis that some see has harmless, while other lies can used to cover huge secrets that could potentially end the relationship. Only 20% of people agree that one should never lie, and 60% of people believe that there is place in relationships for lying. So when is it ok to lie? Some believe that it is ok to lie when you are trying to spare the other person’s feelings. Another popular time that people lie is when they are in the wrong. For example if word comes out about a horrible idea and the source is trying to be identified one may simply deny ever having that idea. It is very common for people to justify their lies with reasons such as trying to spare hard feelings, keeping people safe or out of harms way, and keeping themselves out of trouble.

            The problem with making instances where lying is ok is that this strains the trust in the relationship. Trust is the foundation of every type of relationship, without trust relationships would no longer be important to us. The trust bias is the idea that we are more likely believe that the truth is the truth. Without the truth bias we would be constantly be doubting what others say and would be spending much more time researching things to ensure it is true. Just about every one participates in the truth bias, which sometimes makes us look gullible, but also gives people the chance to deceive is if we are not careful.

Deception is the act of misleading people by making a false appearance or statement.  It is sometimes very easy to be deceived not only because of the truth bias, but also because cues can be very difficult to detect. Some cues with significance could be, the deceiver avoiding eye contact when they are deceiving you, also they may tap their foot on the ground in a nervous manner. Lying and deceiving is a skill that some people are very good at, while others get caught in their lies very easily. Deception can happen in face-to-face communication but it is much easier to be deceived in computer-mediated communication.  Nonverbal cues such as avoiding eye contact, and nervous tapping habits are two common things that people do when they are lying. Tone of voice, body language, avoiding certain words such as “I”, also the liar may claim their honesty by saying things such as “trust me”.  

Some people are more susceptible to being deceived because they either do not pick up on nonverbal cues, or they just aren’t socially aware. Whatever the case it, everyone is much more susceptible to deception through technology. It is very easy for the deceiver to send out a lying text message than it is for them to look someone in the eyes and deceive them. Deception in technology is harmful to relationships, and one must be aware of the possibility of being deceived, while also remaining trusting in the relationship.